What I have learned in the past 3 years pursuing my dream abroad
In my office on a frigid Tuesday after training was cancelled due to the well below freezing temperature. I work as a professional strength and conditioning coach in a youth academy in Hradec Kralove, Czech Republic alongside my soccer career. I have some time to reflect on my journey and possibly offer some insights for those of you who are interested to hear about what I have learned thus far.
I left in the summer of 2021 after graduating college to pursue professional soccer in Europe. I thought I left the U.S with a solid framework to help me adapt in a new culture and a new career. That was the first thing I learned, you can learn the language, think you understand the culture, but nothing will prepare you for a move like this. It’s the experience itself that teaches you everything. Just like learning to swim, you can learn “how to swim” in a book or from a friend on the shore but it is not until you actually jump in the water that you’ll actually learn anything applicable in your own journey to success.
The second thing I learned, the closer you come to achieving a goal the closer you’ll get to understanding how it would be like actually doing it. So no matter where you come from or what your goals are, the first step is to just go for it and stop hesitating. My view of playing professional soccer and what the job actually looked like was skewed. That’s my honest take, it’s not as glamorous, and black and white that many think it is. You can be the hardest worker, the most talented, even the best on the field, but due to politics, people in higher positions, bias, and so much more that can affect your playing time and your career in this journey. In the end, talent, hard work, determination, and perseverance are still the most important but unfortunately just like most jobs it is about who you know and things out of your control. You have to learn to play the game, not just the game on the field, but the game that happens behind the scenes. Make good impressions, make friends, and understand your worth, understand what you deserve, what have you sacrificed, and ask yourself if you deserve what you are given. If the answer to that question is no, leave on good terms. Take your talent elsewhere. I had to do that in two of the four clubs I have been at. One of them, funny enough, pleaded with me after I left to come back because they found themselves at the bottom of the table. I probably wouldn’t have gotten that call if I left on bad terms. But, I was already signed to another team and remembered how they treated me before and declined.
The third thing was something I already alluded to in the previous paragraph. The foundation of playing the game successfully on and off the field is to lead your path with strong virtues. Be honest, courageous, determined, hard working, friendly, fair, and assertive. If you have no one or nothing to rely on, rely on that. Because if you live your life, do your jobs, interact with people with strong virtues, you will be noticed by the right people. It’s just a matter of time that people will appreciate your presence and want to stick to you. Even though the quote, “you are a product of your five greatest friends” isn’t on everyone’s mind when making connections or becoming friends, people on that wavelength are inclined to want people like that in their life consciously or subconsciously. Either for inspiration or for teamwork. Either way, there is no way you can go wrong, it will only help you.
The fourth teaching for me is something I’ve talked about in a previous blog. In my own life, and this is my opinion, there is such a thing as being too ambitious. Now, to help you understand what that means to me, there was a time on this journey where I was training 10 times a week, on one particular weekend I didn’t play in the game, not even a minute. For reasons I won’t get into but after the game everyone went out to enjoy each others company at a bar, and I remember instead of going out with my team I went to the gym to get an 11th session of training in. I told myself what did I do to deserve time off like that, I didn’t even play? Now, when I sit here it’s so obvious to me. I want to tell myself, “dude, chill out, enjoy the process and enjoy the present, enjoy other people’s company, rest and reset”. That doesn’t mean necessarily to go out and get drunk with your friends, but it does mean to enjoy the other facets of life that are important to feel fulfilled, to have a community, to banter, to debate your friends, to listen to stories, whatever. Some of those things I would argue are almost as equally important to feel free on the field and produce good performances. There are people in this world that don’t need that but I have learned I’m not one of them. To play or to do a job to the best of your ability you need to be free, in what some call the flow-state. To get into that frame of mind you need to be grateful, and in the present. If you’re always looking ahead at what you need to do to achieve, or to play better tomorrow or next week how can you stay in the present? I can’t. So that’s a big one for me, enjoy the process and have fun! (This does’’t mean to not plan and strategize the future, but it means to understand what is enough and what isn’t, getting yourself to a high level in whatever field will help you understand this dichotomy)
The fifth lesson I learned, the unfortunate truth of assimilating into a new environment means you’re going to be in search of friends and you’re going to want people to like you. It’s natural to become a people pleaser for most, it’s a natural defense mechanism that we exhibit when we want to be accepted. Two things happen, your own views you portray might become corrupted, and you become primed to be taken advantage of. Just like being anywhere new, there’s a certain orientation that takes place and you need to do everything in your power to stay true to your own views, and not let your boundaries collapse in terms of doing things for people. Be a helping hand but there’s always a boundary and you need to be careful of not letting that slip, you need to be okay with saying no at times however hard it might seem. Catch it early and you won’t have a problem. Now with your own views, it might seem counterproductive but people will respect you more if you have a different view of something and know how to defend it. Catch yourself nodding when you actually don’t agree and have the courage to stand up for your own views.
To be continued…
